Ten Shades of M

     I. White

Wilde said each man kills the things he love

With a bitter look or an endearing glance

With flattering words or words that cut like knife through flesh

Even said the coward does it with a kiss and the brave with a sword

It's an interesting metaphor because it's actually true to the core

    II. Sepia

Met my love when my eyes were young

It was not love at first sight

No. It was unfortunately not that melodramatic

He did not have me at hello nor sweep me off my feet instantaneously 

It was not sweet serendipity

Nothing at all like a good ole chick flick knavery

For we met ordinarily and started platonic as everything else should be

Blunt. Real. And Raw.

   III. Colloidal Brown

Years passed and the friendship was nurtured

But unwanted weeds had to be pulled out

 As I realized I had developed feelings

Tantamount to ruinous love trappings

   IV. Grey

Some kill their love in their youth and some when they're grey and old

And in my case, I tried to murder it a tender age

For it wasn't supposed to be there. It was an unwanted guest.

An embodiment of Gregor Samsa's Metamorphosis into a vermin

Yes. The feeling was a vermin. And so I had to stifle it.

Felt the stronger need to do so when he didn't seem to notice the rage within my being

And yet it was also a cyclone

That I wanted so much for him to calm..to quiet to a steadfast pace

But there was none

I felt crimson with hurt, pitch black with grief

As it was clothed with an unrequited cape

Of all forms of loving, the basest in its face

    V. Blood Red

I killed my love at 16 and killed it again at 23

I killed it with bitter looks. 

I killed it with words of flattery.

I killed it with the sharp knife of my tongue and I killed it with apathy.

And when these turned futile, I sought the help of conscious forgetting.

  VI. Flesh

But my heart was a feeble dullard

No amount of virtual, collateral and direct cardiac arrests 

Completely silenced him to a figurative grave

And later, he revealed the tell-tale reasons for his silence and disinterested semblance

  VII. Blue

He was insecure and weak

He was afraid

And with cowardice, he forged a friendly parade

He grew comfortable watching the waves while further deceiving himself

Of the idea that it was okay to admire its beauty from afar

The paddle and canoe remained untouched

Because to him, 

I was a hurricane.

  VIII. Yellow

And so finally, I understood

The cryptic nuances of our he-said-she-said affair

It was crazybeautiful. He was is crazybeautiful.

Every fiber of his being, a breathtaking reflection of the image of God
As the light of his love illuminates in me like a thousand splendid suns.

  IX. Aurora Borealis 

Yes! I still love him and I will continue to

Beyond words, distance, space and time

Beyond my earthly state

In a watery grave or a dust-laden space

I love him. I love him. I love him.
Always have and always will.

  X. Clarity

I killed my love at 16 and killed it again at 23...

Or so I thought..

-LMN-

(Aug  13, 2014)

SHADOWS

Shadows crept in the black of night.

Darkness consumed what is left of her sight.

She stumbled and tripped.

Hurt and bled.

 She scoured for color.

Other than the color that bathed her flesh crimson

Other than the brownness of the scars that plague her integument

And other than the pinkish tissue that line her fresher scar tissues

She searched the pitch black void.

Hands outstretched,

 Frantically feeling for any morsel of light

A much-prized light in an age enveloped with unforgiving darkness

A candle would be useless.

 A matchstick rendered inconsequential.

For what she needed was to be inundated. 

An inundation of perpetual light that burrows flesh and breaks bones.

A lighthouse shooting white spectrum across dark obsidian waters

Bending gracefully in the fluidity of life's dance

For a split-second, it was there.

Creating ripples of color

Shining brightly like a hot summer day

Infecting everything in its path

Contagious as a yawn. Uplifting. Festive and beaming.

But its beam turned into a gloat. She knew it was temporary

And  later let out a sob that would echo for ages eerily

In her mind, she desperately conjured an apothecary

To prepare for another six months of monstrosity

That...if she'd be lucky.

The light was still there..burning faintly now.

The hot summer day turned into a cold winter spell.

Chilling. Gnawing. Grating.

 Fading painfully slow

As the unforgiving darkness permeates the final traces of her own ember.

-LMN-

Cupid's Choke Hold

You used to signify every dreamy love song that i hear

In starry-eyed movies, you were the male lead

Sweeping passion-jangled ladies off of their feet

As you whisper sweet nothings to their trusting ears

I used to look forward to my summers in the past

For you were there making each memory a colorful blast

Not a moment was dull, not an instant went dismal

 Even the slightest contact, like electricity to my skin, it was grand mal

Yes. Cupid got me on a choke hold as I continue to consume the madness of it all

I celebrated the blindness of love, even unrequited, I was still foolishly enthralled

Wrote the typical poetry extracted from the deepest bowels of my reality

Full of stifled feelings and sentiments, I try so hard to convey to thee

But you were inattentive... hell, all throughout you were deafened

Like screaming hard to a person with huge ear mufflers, you continued to be apathetic

It was hopeless. I was hopeless.

 As I made a laughing stock of myself in full absurdity

Now, dreamy love songs are difficult to endure

Starry-eyed movies became painstaking to watch

And like neon lights triggering migraine,

Passion-jangled ladies in conventional movies turn out to be just plain annoying

I struggle to write poetry and finishing one has now become an equal agony

The arrow was released and I willfully made myself conspicuous

Now bathed in crimson, I pray without inhibition

As I slither free from the clutches of cupid's choke hold

I am free. Lo and behold!

P.S.  Sorry if I wasn't able to come up with an article. I just figured writing a touchy-feely poetry was fitting for this month of love. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Advance Happy Valentines!

P.S. for the nth time, plagiarism is a mortal sin soo please do not in any way copy any of my articles or poetry for that matter or I will personally banish you for eternity into the saddest, darkest and loneliest abyss you thought never existed (assuming that I have superpowers of course).>_< ENJOY!